We only had our sweet bi-racial babe for 6 months, actually he was in our arms for 6 months and 1 hour. Very strange how that happened… In only 6 months though, this child changed us in ways I could not have imagined. This child was absolutely wild. I remember many many times my husband and I in exasperated voices exclaiming, “You literally cannot take your eyes off of him for two seconds!” Yeah, he was wild. And very large for his age which made his lack of impulse control, combined with his sheer size quite a lot to handle! But, at exactly the same time he was so tenderhearted and affectionate. He loved cuddles and kisses and would absolutely wither at a voice raised too loud or too firm. As our first African American babe, he also opened my eyes to some of the nasty things that are still rampant in our culture that I was able to turn a blind eye to before. Now they were directed at my son and that will change a person in deep, gut wrenching ways.
This wild-boy was also a change for us in other ways. Taking care of his precious hair and skin was absolutely new territory for us and was honestly quite overwhelming at times! I have linked below some of the products we found most useful as a quick-guide. My hopes is that when you get the call you can buzz over to this post and have some of the most important things you need delivered right to your door quickly so you can just focus on becoming a family with this new little love.
Silk pillowcase -To protect their hair from damage.
Curl Conditioning Detangler -This one was a LIFE. SAVER. Have I mentioned that our little guy was absolutely wild? 😊 Getting him to hold still so I could do his hair involved more arms and legs then I had! This spray in between “mousse-ings” helped protect his hair in a quick convenient way that he didn’t totally hate!
Cantu Care for Kids Conditioning Detangler, 6 Fl Oz
Leave in conditioning cream – Initially I had in here a description of how I used this stuff but I feel it’s probably more helpful to point you all to the experts! Check out the resources I mention at the end of this post. (See the link under the shampoo and conditioner)
Rat tail comb – Very helpful to coax out individual curls.
Annie Rat Tail Comb Set, 12 Count
Shampoo and conditioner -This brand is the best of all the brands we have tried and it smells so yummy!
Shea Moisture Coconut and Hibiscus Combination Pack – 13 oz. Curl & Shine Shampoo, 13 oz. Curl & Shine Conditioner & 12 oz. Curl Enhancing Smoothie
Aveeno lotion -I could not believe how dry his skin became. I often applied lotion several times a day. This lotion was sensitive enough for his eczema prone skin.
Honest diapers -I didn’t always buy these diapers because they are kind of expensive, but I have found them helpful for sensitive skin.
The Honest Company Club Box Diapers with TrueAbsorb Technology, Pandas & T-Rex, Size 3, 68 Count
Sensitive wipes -These wipes don’t do that annoying you-pull-one-and-six-million-come-out thing and they are great for sensitive skin.
Back and forth notebook – This is a notebook that goes back and forth from visits with biological parents. It helps to ease fears on both sides, build relationships, and allows you to ask questions. Your babes Mama probably will have lots of pointers for how their hair and skin should be cared for. Be open and willing but also give yourself grace as you learn these new skills. 😊
TDP Journal Notebook, Dotted, A5, Vegan Leather Hardcover, 120gsm, 183 Numbered Pages, Pen Holder, Back Pocket – Gray Overcast
Sunscreen – Great for sensitive skin. Also buy this stick. Game.changer. for those children sound like you are performing an exorcism instead of just applying sunscreen. Yep, I’m that Mom at the pool.
Neutrogena Face Sunscreen for Sensitive Skin from Naturally Sourced Ingredients with Zinc Oxide, Broad Spectrum SPF 50, 1.4 fl. Oz
These are products that worked for us and our little guy with what I think would be considered 4a hair and very sensitive skin. What works for your little one? Any tips for girls?
Me again! Check out this amazing resource I found recently!
I found about this organization on a facebook group I am a part of. (Hair to Heart, Multiracial Families Discuss, also a great resource.) There are videos, more products to try, FAQs and this past weekend there was even a online workshop about Textured hair and other multiracial parenting topics! (Hurry, I just read that the videos will still be available 14 days after February 8th, 2020 if you register soon!)