What are we missing?

So I haven’t been on here to write in a long time. Most of the time I get an idea to write about a certain topic only to sit down in front of the empty page and discover it’s not really that important. But today I feel like what I have to say is worth reading. It is something I think a lot of people need to think about. I want to write about relationships. Yea, I’m jumping on that bandwagon, but not really. It seems to be a fad lately. Every time I turn around someone has written about how you should or shouldn’t dress or how you should only date a guy if he has taken chivalry lessons from Julie Andrews herself or how much better courting is than dating. Don’t misunderstand, these things are important, and even vital to some relationships (ok, minus the Julie Andrews part) But I think we are missing something very important. Something is seriously lacking!

In the past few weeks many of us were beyond shocked when we heard the news of the horrible tragedy that occurred in Indiana. (Please still be in prayer for these families) I started thinking, once the shock wore off, what if I only have a tiny amount of time left with those I love? Almost instantly a verse came to mind. “Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away”. We all actually only have a miniscule amount of time. Maybe these are morbid thoughts but they are true and I think they provide a clue to what we’re missing.

Two of my patients are one of the sweetest couples I have ever met. I have enjoyed so much getting to know them and hear their stories. Having grown up during WW2 this dear couple has been through more than I can ever imagine. I have always loved hearing the stories of how other couple’s relationships started and was thrilled that they were more than willing to share theirs. Their story is not a typical love story however. No chocolate, flowers, and picnics but rather air raids, bombings, fleeing the Russians, and finally safety in Denmark. One day while sharing part of this story the wife looked and me and smiling said “We’ve been married over sixty years” and with a wink to her husband “ And you still haven’t gotten rid of me!” The idea of sixty years blew my mind so I repeatedly questioned what their secret was to no avail. Then one day I realized my answer was in the nickname they have for each other. “Schatzi” which translated from German means “my little treasure.” Now I know I am a rookie, I’ve only been dating the kindest, gentlest, dearest, man for two short years. But I believe what we are lacking so desperately is actually pretty obvious. Love. Not the tingly-make-me-happy kind of love, and not the I’m-angry-but-I-have-to-love-you kind of love (even though these are both desperately needed) But the kind of love that adores it’s object. The love the treasures and cherishes that whom it desires. A love that is totally selfless. Ephesians describes as Christ’s love for the church in this way. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it”

Well I have been rambling on here for about 600 words, here is a quote from C.S Lewis’ book “Four Loves” that sums up what I’m trying to say in a single paragraph.

“The event of falling in love is of such a nature that we are right to reject as intolerable the idea that it should be transitory. In one high bound it has overleaped the massive of our selfhood; it has made appetite itself altruistic, tossed personal happiness aside as a triviality and planted the interests of another in the centre of our being. Spontaneously and without effort we have fulfilled the law (towards one person) by loving our neighbour as ourselves. It is an image, a foretaste, of what we must become to all if Love Himself rules in us without a rival. It is even (well used) a preparation for that.”

― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

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